We could all sit around and blame every single bad thing in our lives on parents… just like we could blame every single bad thing in our lives on anything. Parents are an easy scapegoat. We are all little versions of our parents after all, sometimes acting as avatars playing the part that mom or dad never got to play themselves. We grow up mimicking our parents, and they mimicked their parents–your grandma and grandpa, and so on. Where does nurture end and nature begin?
I was in a circle of women in a temple in the woods of Nevada City, CA and we all drew cards at the beginning of our gathering. The woman next to me chose the “child” card. When she looked up the meaning, it said one wants for their child what they actually want for themself. I know this is true.
I think part of what I have been learning is that I am not a substitute for anyone. I’m not living out anyone else’s life for them. Even though I have made decisions based on other people’s opinions, they have still been my decisions and they reflect something I need to work on as a person.