Hmmm

I’m having a hard time figuring out what it is that I want.  I keep doing things just to see what happens, but I don’t feel like I actually want anything except for a cigarette.  Maybe it’s my soul telling me to go buy a pack so I can tear myself away from the TV…

Freedom

I haven’t written in awhile because the moments recently have been too full.  There is more learning and new time than reflection time.  That is because I am, or have been, completely untethered and a little nervous but mostly grateful and hungry for more understanding.  For the first time in my life my mind is…

The Nature/Nurture Blur

We could all sit around and blame every single bad thing in our lives on parents… just like we could blame every single bad thing in our lives on anything.  Parents are an easy scapegoat.  We are all little versions of our parents after all, sometimes acting as avatars playing the part that mom or…

Speaking Softly And Slowing Down

I once had a co-worker who told me that my first instinct in any situation was to panic. I didn’t know what he meant–it was such a natural reaction that I could not see that I was the only person around me acting in such a manner. I was a bossy kid and that bled…

On God and Woman

I find the term feminism to be counterintuitive… I am equal beyond my gender because my gender is irrelevant. Your car is not better than my truck, your house is not better than my apartment, your male body is not better than my female body–they are different things. They are just things. They are not…

I Don’t Want To Shave My Legs

I came to Southern Illinois from Southern California just as I was. I have had a rough few years–this year especially–and was glad to feel like I was crossing the finish line triumphantly as my mother told me that she was really proud of me and ecstatic about my current being, in so many words……

Home Free Day 12

I decided to have a private getaway with my paintings before my cousins and I took to the road for our cross-country trip. I whisked my babies 40 miles east of the city into seclusion where we could spend some real quality time. With the exception of eating, sleeping and bathroom breaks–all I did was…