The Nature/Nurture Blur

We could all sit around and blame every single bad thing in our lives on parents… just like we could blame every single bad thing in our lives on anything.  Parents are an easy scapegoat.  We are all little versions of our parents after all, sometimes acting as avatars playing the part that mom or…

Speaking Softly And Slowing Down

I once had a co-worker who told me that my first instinct in any situation was to panic. I didn’t know what he meant–it was such a natural reaction that I could not see that I was the only person around me acting in such a manner. I was a bossy kid and that bled…

I Don’t Want To Shave My Legs

I came to Southern Illinois from Southern California just as I was. I have had a rough few years–this year especially–and was glad to feel like I was crossing the finish line triumphantly as my mother told me that she was really proud of me and ecstatic about my current being, in so many words……

Something To Talk About

The more I talk to other people, the dumber and less necessary what I say becomes. It is a snowball effect. I start with an attempt to talk to other people. I learn that it is easy to speak negatively. I speak negatively. There is always something negative to talk about and it is so…

Those Who Cannot Teach, Do

We began our languorous journey into uncharted territory five years ago, at the age of 24. There is something very special about that age… I believe it to be the beginning of one’s spiritual awakening. It’s when I first started to feel the separation of mind, body and spirit. It terrified me. Some interpret this…

Am I The Weird One?

Each person is weird or unique or special or another word that means the same things as these words, but am I actually weird? The kind of weird that doesn’t easily and consistently socialize? The kind of weird that doesn’t pick up on subtle human gestures of intent? The kind that sometimes obliviously misjudges the…

The Missing Part Of Yourself

You speak to me as though you are completely sure that you are human. That that’s all you are and that’s all you ever have been, or maybe you have never even thought about it that way. But surely you have, because if I have, then why not you? Do we not all go through…

Humility For The Inner Child

Oh, teach me humility without the misconception of necessary self-deprecation. Teach me humility that doesn’t rely on others’ perception of the quality. Teach me humility that doesn’t rely on my own perception — a quiet humility that I don’t even notice. Teach me to be humble without knowing I’m humble. Sometimes I say things that…

Other Than I Understand I

To start out this sentence with a word other than “I” is the first thought in my mind, but why?  For fear of viewing myself as a self-obsessed twit with little view of the outside world?  Isn’t that thought itself obsessive? Or is it better put, “Isn’t that thought obsessive itself?”  Who even cares because…