Recurring Abandonment Dreams

Last night I had another dream about being abandoned by the same person I have dreamed about being abandoned by for the past year and a half. This is the only person I can recall having abandonment dreams about. We were at a party and most of what I can remember is from me watching…

Nonrecreational Sex

I haven’t had sex since December 2016, so seven months. I’m currently tied for the longest break I have taken from it in the 11 years that I’ve been sexually active. Both times that I stopped have been because of a feeling. I started because of a thought and I didn’t understand what I was…

Those Who Cannot Teach, Do

We began our languorous journey into uncharted territory five years ago, at the age of 24. There is something very special about that age… I believe it to be the beginning of one’s spiritual awakening. It’s when I first started to feel the separation of mind, body and spirit. It terrified me. Some interpret this…

Am I The Weird One?

Each person is weird or unique or special or another word that means the same things as these words, but am I actually weird? The kind of weird that doesn’t easily and consistently socialize? The kind of weird that doesn’t pick up on subtle human gestures of intent? The kind that sometimes obliviously misjudges the…

Putting Regret To Use

Taking it easy in the ways of love. Letting each other be and be themselves and go where they want and with who they want, even when it’s not with you. Especially when it’s not with you. Trying to be friends and realizing even that is a two-way street. Filtering out the real from the…

Feeling Romantic

I like the feeling of caring about someone I’m interested in romantically or, probably more truly, I like the idea of liking the feeling of caring about a romantic interest. I like the idea of liking the feeling of caring for a romantic interest too. I like to care about other people from afar, to imagine…

To Conquer Death, You Only Have To Die

What a tizzy we have thrown ourselves into on the concept of death — and when I say concept, I mean concept. I believe that when you and I expire from our Earthly forms and our souls are working out where to go next on the universe’s eternal journey to know itself through every experience imaginable and…

I Love Me And So Does Jesus

We are taught to worship Jesus and be slaves to the machine, instead of practicing his teachings to understand what they actually mean. Man has skewed religion to make you think we are lesser beings, while Jesus taught others to heal themselves and believed poor men to be kings. Jesus had faith in people, so…

Up To Me

I was baptized Catholic as an infant, then I was baptized Southern Baptist at age 10, and when I was maybe 20 my family and I did a Christian group baptism.  I was raised being told that I was born a sinner, no matter what I always had original sin on me, and the only…

I Thought I Did

Never mind what I did today, how about what I thought?  I did lay on the floor of my apartment where the red velvet couch used to be before the bed bugs claimed it. I did listen to my building’s handy-man and his clangorous hammer working all the live-long day in the attic directly above my…

Sharing and Crescendoing

Why do I reach out?  Why aren’t I writing this thought into a piece of paper to hide away or a Word document to save on my desktop?  I would like to live in a way that I am only doing things that are necessary, or rather not spending my time doing anything that I…